MAYBE THEY SHOULD JUST BE THROWN AWAY
MAYBE NOT
Hello Judy,
What's up? How is Fred doing? I told you I was on my way. I tried to call GB but he wasn't at home. I hope he did what he was suppose to do on the shoes and supplies. I really need you in my corner this time. If its no more than writing me a letter a week or every two weeks. I have been gone 3 days now and it seems like 3 months. I guess I've gotten soft in my days.
By the way, I'm at the Holiday. I have been in seg from day one. I don't know what I have on my record but I have never been in seg. I'm in a cell by myself. I'm feed through a pan hole and I have to be handcuffed to go take a shower. I have to be here 6 days to get 1 hour of rec or t.v. They say I 'm in transit but I have never heard such a thing. I can't make commissary for at least 2 weeks.
This is our business, not Lee's or anyone else. I know you have a bad habit of telling your business but I'm sharing this wit you and only you and Fred. And also I don't know how long I will be here but I'm sure I will be in another unit. Hopefully. I will be in population.
So did Fred get all his stuff that he needed for school? Since you lost the lawyers job what are you doing now? You know I just thought of something. You have never complained about getting around with your car broke down. What's up with that? Not that it matters but tell me the truth.
Brian when I get home this time you and I are going to do some things together. We should have been doing them but things happen. Maybe we can do some fishing. And you can write me a few lines also it won't take you long. And don't do it like you do your homework.
Love ya'll,
Daddy
P.S. After I finished this letter, they put me on a chain. I'm at the James Byrd Unit now. You are talking about hot. I might as well get use to it because there isn't any a/c. I'm still in transit so I don't know where I will end up. At least I'm not by myself. And I can see daylight. The only thing I miss is the air conditioner. I may be gone again next week. I don't know how long I will be here. Here is some money slips and whenever you can I have to get me a fan. I'm going to send this one off in the morning.
Always and forever,
I know that's what you wanted to see.
Bennett 1113086 Huntsville Aug. 2002
11th day of September
Judy.
What's up? I still don't have anything to do and still haven't received any mail. I've learned that all they are going to do is move me around. I don't like this at all. I don't get tot watch t.v., nor listen to radio or nothing. The only time I come out pf this 5x9 cell is to go to chow and that is only about 6-8 minutes at a time. Add that up and that's not 30 minutes in a whole day. I guess this is what I ask for when Ben wanted to do things his way. Well so much for that.
I was reading a stand-firm booklet and this caught my attention and thought I would share it. I heard about a boy who knew how to pray thoughtfully. He took a block of wood and carved it into a car to race in the Pinewood Derby. The boy worked hard and did it all by himself. His final product was the least attractive racing car Represented his friends had been helped by their dads. His car wasn't as shiny; it wobbled when it rolled. But on the day of the races, the little car's looks didn't matter; it won every preliminary heat.
Before the championship race, the boy asked if he could take a few seconds to pray. He knelt and did so, then he took his place at the starting line. The race was close. Everyone in the crowd marveled to see the boy's crude little wooden car cross the finish line first. As the announcer shook his hand and presented him with the trophy, he said. " I guess you must have prayed for God to help your car win." The boy replied, "No Sir, I didn't pray for that I just asked God to help me not to cry if I lost. I thought that was worth passing on. It touched my heart.
I talked to Put today. I didn't know he had a life sentence. He was telling me he had to do at least 40 before he came up for parole. I just looked at him and he said with a smile on his face saying I'm going to try and do it. I can't even imagine half of that, you? Anyway, we didn't get long to talk. He said he knew a Lieutenant that would pull me out tomorrow. It's really nothing to talk about. What was done in the past is in the past know what I mean.
I wrote Jeff a long letter. For some reason he never wrote me back. He had asked me some questions about what's happening in the system and different cases and I told him and also gave him my opinion on his case, which is probably what he didn't want to hear. But like I told him if he don't gone and plead for something he will be setting over here or another unit with a life sentence. They can enhance all his cases and make him a habitual criminal. Like he is so gun hoe that if he set there a long time he will get time served. We are talking about 30,000 dollars worth of stuff. He say it a flaw in the indictment maybe so but all they will do is change the burglary to receiving stolen property and he is surely a goner, if he didn't want to hear the truth he shouldn't have asked. I wrote him a letter yesterday. Told him, he could write a nigger. He didn't have to stay mad forever and if I pissed him off, I apologized just don't ask for my opinion. That's enough on that.
Well, today is Wednesday. I'm still looking out the window at these niggers riding some of these horses, it's a nice day. It reminded me of one of the early fall mornings with everything still down in Hardin I'm speaking of. You could hear anything that moved,I like those kind of mornings.
I have decided not to try and get anything done health-wise. Some of the stories I've heard I don't think so. And as far as the dental I not going to have any pulled because they are going to drag around in replacing them. I only have a few and I want as many when I leave here as I came with understand. I guess we both will have a bad mouth.
I also tried to get a walking cane. They taken x-rays of my hi the doctor don't want to give me one because he says the muscles haven't fully developed back. That has been over four years ago how long is it suppose to take? I really was trying to get some back up for when I file again. So now I don't know which route to take. I do have a permanent bottom bunk, Thank God. But it won't get me any money.'
I'm going to enclose this floor plan that I thought of while I've been sitting. Hopefully you can make enough money to build this for us. I think it would be plenty of room what do yo think. I have some other plans hope to get them done first. I'm going to hold on to them. It's some sets of 2 and 3 bedroom apartments I've been thinking about this for a long time now. But I think now is the right time I heard a sermon well not a sermon but this guy was praying and he was saying how we men ought to learn what God puts us here to do. And he went on saying about you men with talent such as carpenters etc. put your gift into action. Pray on it, put it in writing and it will come to pass. So that is what I did was put it on paper. This could have been done I don't know how many times. I guess I wasn't old enough. Each building will cost about 15 to 18 thousand, but whether I do one a year or whatever it can happen. I have faith that it's a done deal. As long as Carter is still with housing I sure it won't be a problem. I could have done this the last time I was out with all that money ha. oh well.
Well, what are you going through? I'm going to put the slips in if you are not going to use them pass them on to someone else. I'm sitting up here sweating as I writing this letter. Anyway, write me nigger I haven't received but one letter from you since I've been here and I know I've written 6 or 7 or more I lost count.
Oh I got my eyes tested, they told me to buy some reading glasses. I think they are really getting worse. Even when I'm writing I have to put the paper a certain way to see how to write. I know its messy. Don't throw that plan away, put it with the rest of your rat material.
Love you,
Big Daddy
and the money slips come separate from letter read front of form.
I sometimes thought just throw these things away but i never could. Maybe typing these old letters on here will be somewhat therapeutic in letting go completely of all the clutter in my life. Reading these letters I can't decide whether it is better to put it down or to totally just throw them away which is going to be the best thing for my son after I am dead. Probably just throw the rest of them away. I don't know. I am trying to de-clutter the house and these old letters was so far back it is ridiculous and the stuff they are about are mostly ridiculous because how many times was it going to take to make you wake up and take care of your boys and life. You never changed as far as I know.
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