I HAVE FOUND MY POEMS THAT I WAS SO SCARED TO LET MY SON SHARE WITH HIS FRIENDS AND HE NEVER ASKED AGAIN, I HAVE REGRETTED THAT EVER SINCE, I WAS ASHAMED BUT HE WAS PROUD OF HIS MOM

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😞😞😞😌😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃

the people don't care who they hurt

they 'll treat anyone like dirt

if it helps them out in an way

but one of these days they're gonna pay

the people are out to help themselves

and just don't care about anyone else

they talk down, run down, and step on

and then late at night they go outside

of town to some filthy bar

so sure they won't be discovered.

people that talk about everything bad

and the ones they're talking about to have really

been had,

because they don't know

it's the mess that are talkin' that are really low

someday they will all be discovered

someday

-Connie- (1970-71)

is it wrong to want to love?

is it wrong not to feel yourself as above?

yes, yes, in this world

is it wrong to want to live and let live?

is it wrong to want to help and give?

yes, yes, in this world

is it wrong for you to see how this world

really is, not really new?

yes, yes in this world

is it wrong to want to share with the people

who really care?

is it wrong to have a love of peace, is that

not fair?

yes, yes, in this world

is it wrong to speak your mind?

even though it may be unkind?

and is it wrong to like everyone and to want

to live your life the way you want and

have fun?

yes, yes, in this world.

you know it's not really fair

but no-one takes the time to care

not in this world.

-Connie- (1970-71)

My English teacher Ms. Eggleston thought my poems should be published, she really liked them and all of them were just too close to me to let go, even when my son was proud of me.  They seem childish to me but I was a teenager writing these poems and once I was married and abused, I could never write poetry again.  I have tried and it just does not come from inside.

there's a life worth living

it's the life where you're giving

all your love to someone true

and that someone loving you too

there's a life where you'll find

where you'll use your own mind

you'll find the love you once knew

and the things you want to do

there's a life you haven't found

where there's love all around

in that life everything's free

and in that life you'll find you and me

-Connie- (1970-71)

today everything you read is slanted

everybody and everything is taken for granted

nobody in this world even cares anymore

on your word, they just shut the door

and here you are talking of things in your view

and I am one who will listen to you

go ahead and tell me your view

i'll listen to you though i may not know

what to do,

with you, i'm mot playing,

i am really listening to what you are saying

i'll not leave you in the cold

because what you're saying is going to hold

i will see to that

no-one will turn their back.

-Connie- (1970-71)

here you are in this fantastic dream

everywhere you look love is to be seen

love is all around

everyone laughing and acting like clowns

you hear beautiful music, must be Three

Dog Night, 

and you're feeling so ligh

everything in the world is going right

this fantastic dream you're having is like a

world of your own

but look, you're not alone

look at the people that surround you

as if you're someone new

but, no, you're not new

people just love you

because this is the land of love

where everything's free and full of love.

-Connie- (1970-71)

silently watching the cars go by

all by yourself with nothing else to do

it really makes you want to cry

when you know there is nothing you can do

days when you feel just like up and leavin'

forgetting the past, not turning back

but you know you can't, all you can do is

just sit there, grieving,

never leaving, never coming back

all you can do is just sit there and dream

of what it would be like to live like you want to

as you're dreaming, here comes the gleam

in your eyes, thinking of the beautiful

thoughts that keep you from feeling blue

from all the heartbreaking lies

you feel so much better in your fantasy world

than having to face the harsh reality you live in.

-Connie- (1970-71)

this world i'm living in, for me, is wrong

i need to go to the world, i want to belong

but here no-one can really see

that the world i want is really free

free of hatred, free of sorrow

always today, never tomorrow

an un-littered world where there's no trash

and to live, there's no need of cash

a world where no-one receives dirty looks

and there's no filth in all the books

this world is so clean

and you'll not find one person mean

of hate, the people of this world are above

all that's important is lots of love

that is the kind of world I want to belong

"cause in that world there is no wrong.

-Connie- (1970-71)

so sleepy. i'm going to bed

h oh, just my luck, i hit my head

woke me up, it did, it did

it nearly knocked me off my lid

now trying to go back to sleep

i've got a pain, so deep, so deep

tossing and turning, not able to sleep

i feel my pain, so deep, so deep

it's going away, it feels so good

it's going away just like it should

now maybe i can get some sleep

and maybe dream, not weep, not weep

probably have a nightmare

and weep some more, just ain't fair

nice and warm in my bed

i just remember, the cat has to be fed.

up i go in the cold,

it's dark in here, i'm very bold

here i am, so brave and bold

and down i go in my cat's water bowl

so here i sit

by this lamp i lit

i guess tonight wasn't meant for sleep.

-Connie- (1970-71)

people ask if you're going with him

but what can you say?

people just don't understand when you say,

oh, we've just got a feeling

people just don't understand

that it's not because he's in a band

man, all you can say is you've got a feeling

yeah, you've got a feeling

people don't seem to realize

that you can feel something you can't explain

but you can

you're hoping now this feeling will never die

because if it did you just couldn't bear the pain

all you can say, man, we've got a feeling

people don't understand when you say you

can't say you love him

but yet it's something more than like

here you are leaving them out on a limb

they can't imagine what it's like

but you've got a feeling.

people don't understand the beautiful thing

you've got going

and there they are left without knowing

how wonderful a feeling like you've got

really feels

you've got a feeling

yes, you've got a feeling

and all you can tell people.....

we've got a feeling, a good feeling

-Connie- 1971

Funny thing about this time, the one that was so accepted was nothing and is nothing but an alcoholic then and now, the one they were afraid of in the band from the big city, is now an architect and the other one that was so bad, is also an architect, one in Houston and one in Beaumont. Now doesn't that suck.

who is that fool

who can't live by their rule

it's me

can't you see?

who is that hood

with all that hair?

does he belong to brotherhood?

or does he even care

he's my friend, can't you see?

no, i'm not a fool

but who could possibly live by your rule

i can't

don't you understand

he is not a hood

his hair is clean

yes, he belongs to brotherhood

and he cares, because he's seen

what this world is coming to

but what can he and I do?

-Connie- (1971)

i want to go away

away from everyone

i want to get out on that highway

and have me some fun

i want to get away from the establishment

to be free to think my own way

where i don't have to be so obedient

and can live my life from day to day

i want to get away from all the snobbishness

away from the people around me

i want to get away from the false heartedness

to a place where every heart is free

i want to get away from the awful bite 

of the words of the people here

i want to get away from the fright

to a place where there's no fear

Connie-1971

i tried to understand you

i tried to do the things i thought you wanted me to

i tried to please you

i tried to keep you from feeling blue

i tried to make the bad times good

i tried to please the best i could

i tried keeping you happy like i thought i should

i tried to make your friendship good

i tries to see things your way

i tired to listen to your say

i tired to make our love gay

i tried to make you want to stay

i tried to keep you satisfied

i tried to keep you by my side

i tried to keep your love but it died.

💚

-Connie-1971

i tried to keep your love but no more

i tried but now i'm showing you the door

i tried but our love has become a bore

i tried but oh, no more.

i sit all alone

with nothing to do

and i watch the phone

waiting for who?

i'm all alone

with mind and body

i'm in a zone

no-one else can see

they say i'm insane

i'm out of my mind'but what have i to gain?

when all there is to find

.............is gone.

-Connie-1972

i want to be with him

but they won't let me

he's not good enough for them

they don't care, they don't see

how much i love him.

-Connie-1972

Wishing You Were Here

sitting in the classroom

listening to the monotonous droll

of a faded distant voice

wishing you were here

looking out the window

watching the cars go by

no-one known

needing you

listening to the radio

with some sad voice singing

remembering old memories

and seeing you

wandering in the park

eyes full of visions

of long ago

needing you

wishing you were here

-Connie_ 1973

A TOUCH FROM REALITY

i saw you huddled there

hair blown by the wind

and your eyes were so dazed but not afraid

i wanted to reach out to you

to touch you

show you someone cared

but you saw nothing

i wanted to talk to you

i wanted to help you

to come back

to find a way back to reality

i waited, you looked at me

you began to tremble

your lips quivered

i reached for you

 and held you close

and we both knew

you would make it--

after all.

-Connie-  1973

REMEMBERING

in the park are all the lonely people

wandering in their distant thoughts

remembering what they once had

remembering how it use to be

the old gray haired man

sitting there on a rickety bench

an emptiness in his life

remembering when he had family

remembering how they once cared

the young guitarist sitting on the grass

plucking his guitar and softly singing

there is sadness in his eyes

and a longing in his voice remembering his long lost dreams

the young and the frightened girl

sittin' beneath a tree, crying

frightened by her pregnancy

alone from all her needs

remembering when her parents disowned her

the middle-aged woman

looking old and haggard

just wandering, sorting out her mind

her husband left her for a younger love

remembering when he once loved her

all these people of the park

all alone with different thoughts

join together as mutual friends

remembering to pray for a better way...

-Connie- 1973

INTO THE DARK

can i help You?

don't you want to stay?

what can i do

to make you struggle for life

sitting here watching you

needing you here with me

wondering what we're going to do

wondering where we're going to be

in this cold and dismal room

 the strangers are struggling

trying to revive you from  your doom

try to make it. i love you.

-Connie-   1973

it had been so long

our eyes met, we touched

we loved so much

nothing was wrong

we parted and stared

our lips, our eyes

they did not move

out thoughts were shared

we stayed within each other

falling dreamingly apart

strings tied in our hearts

choosing to love further

now words to express

how much we really care

our love is a rare one

it shows, no need to confess

we are here to blossom

we are blooming now..

-Connie-  1973

YOUR SPECIAL LOVE

you show your special love for me thru actions

need never ell me so

i treasure the moments of bliss

we have together

i definitely feel your special love

you make me feel wanted, needed, loved

even when you're occupied

with something else

i'm never left out

i'm there with you

your special love i'll always know.

-Connie- 1973

the vast, empty womb

is now filled

it has entered

and now it grows

the strength, the secrets 

the emotions controlled

alive it is and happy

therefore, so am i

the cold months ahead

are now filled with warmth--

within and surrounding 

we have created

something unique

it is ours.

there is the love from you-

within and surrounding.

-Connie-1973

hand in hand, we ran

and tumbled together

down the grassy hill

on this private land

we rolled and rolled

then were very still

loving the closeness we felt

the togetherness of one mold

not one moment did we do

not striving the warm silence

birds were singing, the stream gurgling

the love, a song, we heard too

we settled straight

kissed only once

no word spoken, to

watch the sunset.

-Connie-1973

IN DISTRESS

my mind is distraught

my friends are not friends

i seem to be paranoid

 i cannot be taught

i need no further resistance

i need a true friend to lean on

i need a place to hide

help me with your assistance

i've freaked from normal mind

i'm leaving the wreckage

into a world of golden

within golden, i will find.

the frozen sunshine in the sky

the hot wind blowing me cold

i need a place to hide

help me not to die

shake me from this atmosphere

i'm slowly losing strength

my bones are weak and weary now

protect me from the fear

-Connie-1973

the sun is bright, the air is fresh

but the little boy can only rest

the baseball game is on its way

the little boy smiles a sunshiny ray

he's so delighted with the game

he'd love to play but he's lame

he sits there, calmly, in a wheelchair

it is really too unfair

but he keeps his little grin

and cheers his team to the end.

-Connie_1973

I wanted to finish all the poems while I had the guts to type them here, before I change my mind but I can't, I have to stop but I will finish the rest of the poems I wrote in those very young days, so there will be a record of them for whoever cares.