A Meaningful Memory as an Adult
I named by blog page Chantilly's D-V-8 so I could do just that-deviate, I used the deviation on my early childhood memory as I will on my adult one. This one is about a meaningful experience from adulthood, so I will deviate from all the bad things that happened between the years and focus on the shining star. You can imagine what you want, I really don't care, but I don't think you could imagine it all. In case, my other son should come across this page, I want him to know he was my first beautiful experience in life and he knows why nothing will be written about about him. I just wanted to let him know how special he is to me, too.
The birth of my younger son, Brian was the meaningful experience that brought me to where I am today. There was nobody there after he was born as his dad left during that time, as soon as he was born and said he would be back later. There was no family, nobody but that baby and me. No family would call and nobody would come to visit. I kept him close and giving him his bottle, he would be staring up at me with those big brown eyes and I would tell him it's me and you against the world. His dad finally came back later, quite later as I had been discharged a few days later at noon, he appeared before dark. The hospital staff was overly protective and caring for me and my new son. They still gave us the champagne and steak when his dad did show up. They thought that was what was wrong with me because he had left but it wasn't. I kept my son in the bed with me, they never kept him in the nursery except to check him and they would bring him right back.
My son, Brian was a beautiful child and he grew up having to be the parent and protector so many times trying to take care of his mom. He also had asthma so we had hospital visits with the changing of seasons. One time it was an inflammation of the epiglottis and he had to go to Intensive Care Unit in Beaumont, I almost lost him. I almost lost him once while I was pregnant at five months. He was tough, he couldn't wait to get out of me and get on with his life. We lived many places and stayed where we could when we didn't have a choice. He experienced the first few weeks of Kindergarten in Daisetta. We left in the night to a house in Cleveland where we stayed for for about a year and a half. He had good friends in Daisetta and it didn't take him anytime until we had kids every weekend in Cleveland. We left there and came to Liberty school, but we lived in Ames, in Raywood, and in hotels. We finally had a house to live in Liberty for awhile. He did elementary there. In the last of fifth grade, we made it to our first real home for just me and him, the projects in Dayton. It has been uphill ever since. Right before we left Liberty he was very sick and we were staying at the Historic Ott Hotel. In Dayton, we started in the projects, moved to a converted garage apartment, to a dump of a trailer and last year we have our own nice mobile home in a nice mobile home park. If you do not see why I chronciclized this, you will later.
I use to give him five dollars for A's and nothing for B's. He did very well in school. He graduated in Dayton. He had many friends again. In junior high, he started riding BMX bicycles and learning to do tricks and to this day, even with his back hurt, he is on U-Tube with edits of his riding. This last trick up seven feet in the air has caused some problems. So his major lifestyle was riding those bikes and the group did not want anybody that smoked, dranked or did any drugs, so there was the blessing. He now has another hobby which is his boas. They are professionally kept and have their own bedroom. I was the BMX mom, so we always had a crowd in whatever we lived in and I went with the boys on their trips to Austin and other competitions. I also go to Snake Conventions with him. The doctor says we are like brother and sister. We consider each other about everything we do and my family has always kept close tabs on each other except when he was growing up. We did spend Christmas with them except for one year.
What I am getting to is this boy given to me by God, was certainly a gift. I would never be where I am today without him. I have been blessed from the rough road we went through that he does not smoke cigarettes, does not drink alcohol, does not steal, will not tell a lie (because we always felt people could look in our eyes and see a lie), and his friends tried to get him to curse but he doesn't. He is a quiet, grounded soul while his mom is quite flighty. So after all the turmoil, we had planned to move to Austin when he graduated high school but we were unable to make the move, so I decided not to push him and let him be a free soul to make up for some lost childhood. He went to school for awhile an worked, and he still works and talks of coming back to school. Brian still has his guard up to watch out for bad people and has the gift to read people pretty well. He is quiet but he has a huge heart.
I shut myself off from the world and Brian has been the center of my world. My son has always been there for me as I have for him. My son is the one that kept me alive through all these years. All of this background is still about my meaningful experience an how it has changed me. It was just a span of years instead of an incident. After he graduated and the boys all had drivers license and money they didn't need me so much, but I was still invited to go with them. I decided it was my turn . The first time I went with Brian to a college to get enrolled I was a nervous wreck. The following year I went to to enroll I was a different person. I have been going to school ever since. The first two years I went year around, took a summer break and working on finishing an associates degree, then a technical one. Something that would have been impossible years ago.
This blog is to be about a meaningful experience in adulthood so I am giving you the good things that came out of some very hard living so we don't dwell on the bad or who did what to me, but the success we have had throughout the whole thing and moving to Dayton where we knew no one was a gift in itself. We are happy, healthy (more or less) but we are free. I have mentioned before in class about freedom is when you have nothing left to lose. So many times I almost died. Brian was sick a lot with asthma. If his epiglottis had closed, he would have died, so a lot of people don't understand how I can watch him ride the BMX bicycles and do the tricks and deal with those injuries and be a herpa-mom (snakes) but we are a pair.
He has now even attended my church. He had not attended church since the first of high school after our church fell apart but he was baptized on his own there. Now he has come to my church, twice, thanks to the sisters, the elders, the missionaries, that are all about his age. Both of us have learned so much down this long road. What makes this really stand out for me, is the extreme change of life and my son's high standards out of the mess we got away from. It all affected us and somewhere inside probably still does. These roads have taught us so much and we are still learning. He is even thinking of coming back to school. This experience will be ongoing, I lived for Brian, I
lived through Brian and my son taught me to go forth. Don't look back, move forward. My other son is the same.
Now I will be graduating with a degree and Brian will be coming back to school somewhere. We have a nice place that is totally ours and we have nice neighbors. He still has very good friends scattered everywhere. He has his bike friends, his snake friends, and video game friends, and then just the everyday friends. I am more of the lone wolf. I enjoy going home to all the windows except the kitchen covered to my cave, dungeon, whatever you would see it as, but I like that feeling and I am happy there in my cave. This life has also taught my son that life is not about being rich and having so much importance placed on material possessions. We have little in our new home, what is necessary and of course, the normal things and our animals. I know what it is like to hit rock bottom with a baby depending on you, no transportation, no place to live and you can't take care of yourself. So, today I would say this is a success story and it has, is and will always affect the way we think about the world. Nothing could even touch the relationships with both my boys. The older one, Chris is very talkative if you meet him but he is more reclusive so I don't go there. Brian doesn't like his business told but I told him I was doing this blog but it was more about how I felt. Brian is very quiet and reserved and trusts only a few.
Above all, my boys are a blessing because neither of them drink, smoke, or do drugs. They have no reason to want to do these things. They have set themselves very good standards and peer pressure was never a problem for us. We know that family and love, caring for others is so much more important than material possessions. I am so proud to see this generation of people now going to college and I see most of them not smoking, really into their studies and trying to get their careers and lives together. I commend them. I hope they do not waste decades of their lives going the way so many of us from the 70's did.
I will close this by saying, people wake up, giving makes you feel better than taking, loving is more important and hate and jealousy are a total waste of your energy. I will agree that money does smooth the road. Brian and I always say if we won the lottery we would pay off our bills, and get good transportation, but he knows as well as I do, that we would be giving away so much and spread the love around. Even though money smooths the road and of course, you want to be the best at whatever career choice you make and live comfortably just remember don't let the money come between you and your heart. I have watched lots of people worship money and they say it's reality because that is the way society is. They say it may not be right, but in reality that is the way it is. They become callous people. As they said back in the 70's, stop and smell the flowers, sit and listen to the ocean waves as it takes the troubles out of your soul and the next wave brings in freshness and recedes with the ugly back to sea. Remember to give, to help, to volunteer and care, love with your whole heart whatever you do in life. This is all I am trying to say for my last blog. Peace out!!
The birth of my younger son, Brian was the meaningful experience that brought me to where I am today. There was nobody there after he was born as his dad left during that time, as soon as he was born and said he would be back later. There was no family, nobody but that baby and me. No family would call and nobody would come to visit. I kept him close and giving him his bottle, he would be staring up at me with those big brown eyes and I would tell him it's me and you against the world. His dad finally came back later, quite later as I had been discharged a few days later at noon, he appeared before dark. The hospital staff was overly protective and caring for me and my new son. They still gave us the champagne and steak when his dad did show up. They thought that was what was wrong with me because he had left but it wasn't. I kept my son in the bed with me, they never kept him in the nursery except to check him and they would bring him right back.
My son, Brian was a beautiful child and he grew up having to be the parent and protector so many times trying to take care of his mom. He also had asthma so we had hospital visits with the changing of seasons. One time it was an inflammation of the epiglottis and he had to go to Intensive Care Unit in Beaumont, I almost lost him. I almost lost him once while I was pregnant at five months. He was tough, he couldn't wait to get out of me and get on with his life. We lived many places and stayed where we could when we didn't have a choice. He experienced the first few weeks of Kindergarten in Daisetta. We left in the night to a house in Cleveland where we stayed for for about a year and a half. He had good friends in Daisetta and it didn't take him anytime until we had kids every weekend in Cleveland. We left there and came to Liberty school, but we lived in Ames, in Raywood, and in hotels. We finally had a house to live in Liberty for awhile. He did elementary there. In the last of fifth grade, we made it to our first real home for just me and him, the projects in Dayton. It has been uphill ever since. Right before we left Liberty he was very sick and we were staying at the Historic Ott Hotel. In Dayton, we started in the projects, moved to a converted garage apartment, to a dump of a trailer and last year we have our own nice mobile home in a nice mobile home park. If you do not see why I chronciclized this, you will later.
I use to give him five dollars for A's and nothing for B's. He did very well in school. He graduated in Dayton. He had many friends again. In junior high, he started riding BMX bicycles and learning to do tricks and to this day, even with his back hurt, he is on U-Tube with edits of his riding. This last trick up seven feet in the air has caused some problems. So his major lifestyle was riding those bikes and the group did not want anybody that smoked, dranked or did any drugs, so there was the blessing. He now has another hobby which is his boas. They are professionally kept and have their own bedroom. I was the BMX mom, so we always had a crowd in whatever we lived in and I went with the boys on their trips to Austin and other competitions. I also go to Snake Conventions with him. The doctor says we are like brother and sister. We consider each other about everything we do and my family has always kept close tabs on each other except when he was growing up. We did spend Christmas with them except for one year.
What I am getting to is this boy given to me by God, was certainly a gift. I would never be where I am today without him. I have been blessed from the rough road we went through that he does not smoke cigarettes, does not drink alcohol, does not steal, will not tell a lie (because we always felt people could look in our eyes and see a lie), and his friends tried to get him to curse but he doesn't. He is a quiet, grounded soul while his mom is quite flighty. So after all the turmoil, we had planned to move to Austin when he graduated high school but we were unable to make the move, so I decided not to push him and let him be a free soul to make up for some lost childhood. He went to school for awhile an worked, and he still works and talks of coming back to school. Brian still has his guard up to watch out for bad people and has the gift to read people pretty well. He is quiet but he has a huge heart.
I shut myself off from the world and Brian has been the center of my world. My son has always been there for me as I have for him. My son is the one that kept me alive through all these years. All of this background is still about my meaningful experience an how it has changed me. It was just a span of years instead of an incident. After he graduated and the boys all had drivers license and money they didn't need me so much, but I was still invited to go with them. I decided it was my turn . The first time I went with Brian to a college to get enrolled I was a nervous wreck. The following year I went to to enroll I was a different person. I have been going to school ever since. The first two years I went year around, took a summer break and working on finishing an associates degree, then a technical one. Something that would have been impossible years ago.
This blog is to be about a meaningful experience in adulthood so I am giving you the good things that came out of some very hard living so we don't dwell on the bad or who did what to me, but the success we have had throughout the whole thing and moving to Dayton where we knew no one was a gift in itself. We are happy, healthy (more or less) but we are free. I have mentioned before in class about freedom is when you have nothing left to lose. So many times I almost died. Brian was sick a lot with asthma. If his epiglottis had closed, he would have died, so a lot of people don't understand how I can watch him ride the BMX bicycles and do the tricks and deal with those injuries and be a herpa-mom (snakes) but we are a pair.
He has now even attended my church. He had not attended church since the first of high school after our church fell apart but he was baptized on his own there. Now he has come to my church, twice, thanks to the sisters, the elders, the missionaries, that are all about his age. Both of us have learned so much down this long road. What makes this really stand out for me, is the extreme change of life and my son's high standards out of the mess we got away from. It all affected us and somewhere inside probably still does. These roads have taught us so much and we are still learning. He is even thinking of coming back to school. This experience will be ongoing, I lived for Brian, I lived through Brian and my son taught me to go forth. Don't look back, move forward. My other son is the same.
Now I will be graduating with a degree and Brian will be coming back to school somewhere. We have a nice place that is totally ours and we have nice neighbors. He still has very good friends scattered everywhere. He has his bike friends, his snake friends, and video game friends, and then just the everyday friends. I am more of the lone wolf. I enjoy going home to all the windows except the kitchen covered to my cave, dungeon, whatever you would see it as, but I like that feeling and I am happy there in my cave. This life has also taught my son that life is not about being rich and having so much importance placed on material possessions. We have little in our new home, what is necessary and of course, the normal things and our animals. I know what it is like to hit rock bottom with a baby depending on you, no transportation, no place to live and you can't take care of yourself. So, today I would say this is a success story and it has, is and will always affect the way we think about the world. Nothing could even touch the relationships with both my boys. The older one, Chris is very talkative if you meet him but he is more reclusive so I don't go there. Brian doesn't like his business told but I told him I was doing this blog but it was more about how I felt. Brian is very quiet and reserved and trusts only a few.
Above all, my boys are a blessing because neither of them drink, smoke, or do drugs. They have no reason to want to do these things. They have set themselves very good standards and peer pressure was never a problem for us. We know that family and love, caring for others is so much more important than material possessions. I am so proud to see this generation of people now going to college and I see most of them not smoking, really into their studies and trying to get their careers and lives together. I commend them. I hope they do not waste decades of their lives going the way so many of us from the 70's did.
I will close this by saying, people wake up, giving makes you feel better than taking, loving is more important and hate and jealousy are a total waste of your energy. I will agree that money does smooth the road. Brian and I always say if we won the lottery we would pay off our bills, and get good transportation, but he knows as well as I do, that we would be giving away so much and spread the love around. Even though money smooths the road and of course, you want to be the best at whatever career choice you make and live comfortably just remember don't let the money come between you and your heart. I have watched lots of people worship money and they say it's reality because that is the way society is. They say it may not be right, but in reality that is the way it is. They become callous people. As they said back in the 70's, stop and smell the flowers, sit and listen to the ocean waves as it takes the troubles out of your soul and the next wave brings in freshness and recedes with the ugly back to sea. Remember to give, to help, to volunteer and care, love with your whole heart whatever you do in life. This is all I am trying to say for my last blog. Peace out!!
This was a very interesting story to share. I enjoyed your positive attitude, and you are right when you say your son Brian was a gift from God. You raised a good strong son. You should be proud.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much. It is so true,if it had not been for him I would not be alive today. Thank you so much.
ReplyDeleteConstance, I understand your love for your sons because I am a mother too. I also know that a mother gives her life for her children. I admire that you have educated your sons by yourself without any help and making them grow up to be exemplary young men. You should be proud of yourself because you are an excellent mother.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much I just came back to check on everything my school work has really had me going. Thanks so much. Yesterday was my birthday and he took me out to eat. We were going to do one of the things on my bucket list but right now it is more important to take care of serious things so he's putting down 120 to help me with my teeth, top are false they need to be relined. But I'm 59 an holding. Going into U.of H. at Clear Lake for my psychology degree. I am graduating from Lee in Social Sciences associates degree. I will be approaching the university as a junior and to another degree.
ReplyDelete